I’m not afraid or even ashamed to admit that yesterday there was a moment where I felt quite sad for an hour or so. It was the time it took to send a very passionate yet sad email to a dear loved one. A loved one who I miss more than I could have imagined.
Those who know me well know that when I feel down I tend to want to go out to a random location (normally alone) and have a drink with random people who I happen to introduce myself to. This has always been my way with coping with sadness in the past and has been for as long as I can remember. But I have always been one to do things differently to others.
A simple example of such is when my most recent partner and I decided to go separate ways. It’s irrelevant how things ended but of course we were both to be heartbroken that our plans and dreams hadn’t gone quite as we… Well… planned.
Instead of doing what ‘normal’ people would apparently do and go to my local Tesco to pick up some cheap beer or spirits and wallow in the comfort of my own home as I sit and cry alone in the dark, I decided to handle the situation quite differently.
I went to a packed pub in central London and ordered myself a bottle of Prosseco, one glass and some calamari. I then allowed myself to openly cry. In public. And into my bowl of calamari. I then ended up making great friends with people and spending the rest of the night with them. Of course the next morning I was to still be unhappy about the current situation I was in but I was also able to see the humorous side of how I handled it. I shared such a story with my closest friend Andrea, who annoyingly has ALWAYS been there for me. No matter what?! After a while, both her and her mother stopped me and said something along the lines of ‘That’s just classic Luana! Never doing things by the books. And not feeling ashamed to do so either.’
At this moment I remember looking up at the plain white walls of my bedroom thinking ‘Yeah. You know what? You’re right! And I wouldn’t rather it any other way!’
Anyway, I was feeling down in my hostel and instantly thought ‘I need a drink. I need to go out. Anywhere. Speak to anyone. I need to..’ I had to actually stop myself with a ‘Luana! What on earth are you saying?!’ One of the reasons for me being here is to handle things in a better manner. I then sat there in silence and broke into prayer. (Yes… For those who know me this sounds like a ludicrous thought) but I really did. And it worked too! I’ve actually been praying a lot recently. I feel as though it’s something I must do to be able to fully embrace their culture here in India. It might not be what I continue to do upon my return to the UK but its what I’m happy to do now. And I really do enjoy it.

Follow